At 9 pm last night, after a super long day filled with 2 parties, I got onto a zoom with about 50 girls ranging from 7-14 years old. In a candle light room with my own preteen at my side I shared a story. It was a story about honesty, courage & showing up when you don't feel successful. It was a story that brought tears to my eyes, and so many girls related to. A story with words they've sadly said.
I'm not successful enough.
Not smart enough.
Not creative enough.
Not talented enough.
Not popular enough.
I know we tell it to ourselves. And,
our girls tell it to themselves too.
As they grow from the "little kid" stage & become preteens, children gain a new level of social awareness. Suddenly, they no longer believe the whole world loves them and that everything they do is amazing. They begin to search for clues of approval or signs that they aren't a success. And with that, comes the insecurities. Beautiful, kind girls begin to doubt themselves. And we know how it goes. They grow into teenagers... young adults... adults...
Some will learn new skills along the way. Some of us have. But, not every girl will and some will live lives plagued by self doubt, insecurity and the belief that they are never enough.
Now, if you thought I was going to give the solution to this catastrophe in an email... Noooooo! If it were that simple someone would have told you the answer way before I came along. This is tough stuff!
I know how complex it is. I've been studying the topic & developing programming around this for 8 years now.
So, we aren't going to fix it all in an email, but we can take a step forward together. Here's an important strategy to begin building healthier confidence, I want to share as we enter the new year:
We believe the stories we tell ourselves. Our children believe the stories we tell them. So, this year, let's tell a good story. A story that will move us & our children towards a place of confidence.
A story that says:
I am a kind person.
I can light up a room with my smile.
I take care of myself, because I matter.
I am enough.
Let's tell our girls a story that says:
You are so responsible. You put your school work away right away.
You are so beautiful. You smile radiates kindness.
You are so giving. You helped the neighbor with her kids.
You are so special & I am so lucky to be your parent.
Stories that will build us & our families, setting us up for a successful year.